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Archive for February, 2009

Shop and Drop

26 Feb

I went to the grocery store today and made the big mistake of going on a Wednesday. In my local stores, Wednesday is “Senior Discount Day” and everybody over 60 years old is clogging the aisles to buy their groceries. The place is mobbed with gray haired old women and bald men with beer guts and dentures.

I don’t have anything against old people. I hope to be an old person one day, too. But there should be a limit as to how many old people can be in the store at one time – if there was a fire no one would be able to get out to safety.

OK – you know I’m just kidding here, don’t you? I’m glad the stores are giving the oldsters a discount on food – that means a lot to people tyring to get by on a fixed income.

 

Single Again – With Attitude

20 Feb

barteeshirt

 

My Sweetheart

14 Feb

My brother is so cheap that he would deliberately break up with a girl he was seeing just before Valentice’s Day or just before Christmas – just so he wouldn’t have to buy her a present!

So this year I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months and out of the blue he sends me a text and says that he needs more space and doesn’t want to see me as much. It made me think of my brother’s cheap habit and I was not real receptive. The timing stinks – I was hoping for a warm and cozy Valentine’s Day and now that has evaporated.

Honey, let me tell you, if we have been dating each other exclusively for several months and all of a sudden you want to start dating other people and you tell me in a text message? You are a coward.

And you don’t want to completely break up with me – you just want to include other women in your life? No way, Jose – I’m not willing to be your booty call.

So this year I bought my own valentince gift. I picked out a nice box of Godiva chocolates and will enjoy one piece each night by myself for a month or so until they are all gone.

 

Friday the 13th

13 Feb

To a lot of people in America, the number 13 means bad luck. Of course, if you are superstitious, aka totally ignorant, you can find a lot of things to blame for bad luck. Like a broken mirror brings 7 years of bad luck. Seven years! That is a long time to suffer for just a broken piece of glass!

Today is Friday the Thirteenth. Next month we will have another Friday the Thirteenth and in November there is a third one. This year is loaded up with them! That’s a lot of bad luck for a year that is supposed to be full of hope with the promise of change by a certain important someone.